you should know

astronautboy @ 2009-01-17T18:25:00

2009-01-17T23:42:36Z

Where to start?
What to say?

I so sick of being a third wheel.
So tired of being single.
There is clearly something wrong with me.
What though?
This never being with someone is making me angry.
This never being with someone is making me sad.
I'm not happy.
I haven't been in a while.
Should I have hope?
Should I bother with wishing?
I love my friends, I feel bad for saying this,
I'm tired of my friends being the only people whom love me.

Work....... has been so much work.

2008-10-12T23:12:29Z

It's not exactly the feeling of being "thrown under the bus", more like being chased by the bus so you don't get ran over.

Friday was a long day of work. Had to load in a show for saturday. I am now the head electrican but I don't have the full knowledge that Michelle had. I'm thinking a lot had to do with job security. Well one other person could help out, but he clearly did not want to help me with one, just one problem. What was bothering the most was this happening to me while the show electrican was watching. My bosses couldn't help because they do not know how to really work with what I was working on. So I'm screwed because no one could or would help me. Well eventually things worked out in time and the show was able to go on.

I know I have time to learn and I will. What bothers me the most is that, out of 7 people that I work with only 2 are willing to help me and those 2 also have so much going on too. The 4 others are true assholes. They have no care anymore about where they work, whom they work with and how they work. The thing is, both of my bosses are great. They actually do the job they are suppose to. The job itself, though with some odd hours, it truely a great job. Flexable hours if needed. Decent pay if you're a good worker. You meet so many different people.

So why be such douchbags? I am thankful they hiring new people, with or without experiences. I can not wait for new people to start working so those 4 people will be gone. I know not everyone will be nice and cool. But they probably be better than those 4.

Alright then.

astronautboy @ 2008-09-23T00:59:00

2008-09-23T05:19:47Z

Work is going well. Lots of hours this summer.
The season starts Oct-3rd.
Because of work, I haven't been able to go out and do much.
I find that I like work more and more now.
I have no set sleep schedule, but it all works out.
______________________________________________________

I'm not sure how I feel about my lip ring anymore. Keep it or take it out?
I've found who are my true friends.
For some reason, I lost people that I thought were good friends. ---- oh well.
Not to replace the people I lost, but I'd like to make new friends and hang out with others more.
In the thoughts of like to have new friends, I realize that I am sick of being single.
I'm a good person, funny, smart and decently attractive(so I'm told). Any takers? friendship or dating.
________________________________________________________________________________

I would like to talk to more people.
I wounder if it's something about me that people wont talk to me?
Let me know if you'd like to talk more, hang out..... anything.
I think someone would like to get to know me. I think?

Anyone care?

astronautboy @ 2008-06-26T19:13:00

2008-06-26T23:22:27Z

So I leave Saturday morning to go to Hampton Virginia. I'm so excited to take a real vacation. It will be great to spend the 4th of july with Trish.

Other than that, nothing much to say. I work a lot. The money is nice. The new season at Macomb looks bad.

No luck with any guys. Same ol' shit, things seem nice then they turn into douchbags make me doubt myself.

Hmmm.....

Guess that's it.

astronautboy @ 2008-02-06T18:56:00

2008-02-06T23:55:31Z

So, for those of you who still log on to this site, how are you? What's new with you?

astronautboy @ 2007-12-03T02:46:00

2007-12-03T08:01:11Z

Friday at work, I got to report my first work place injury. It only took 4 years for me, while for others it's take less than a year. What does that say?

I was up at the grid loading weight and as I was laying a brick down my middle, ring and pinky fingures on my right had were smashed. The ring fingure has it the worst. The nail is slowly turning purple. I've never lost a nail, so I'm kinda wishing for it to fall off. But I hear that it's a pain also. Oh well, only time will tell.

We had Hairspray in friday and saturday. The show was alright.

Anyways_____________

I miss my friends. I missed out on spending time with Rebecca. I hope you had a good birthday. I'm sorry I only got to call you. Maybe soon we'll get to see eachother.
Work has been long long hours that even phone calls hardly happen. I have a few people that I've been meaning to call back but by the time I realize it, I'm either working again or it's more than likely too late to give a ring. I'm sorry.

Hope everyone is doing well.

astronautboy @ 2007-10-18T15:58:00

2007-10-18T20:06:43Z

I love how my dad can make me feel as though I have nothing to live for and all I do is waste my time and that I don't know how to think about the future.

This was great to come home to, and be told this not even being in the house for 5 minutes. Im not kidding, I wasn't in the house for more than 5 mins and I was told this.

The thing is, my dad is a good father and person. But I don't know what sets this off in him. Normaly if someone bashes on me I could care less about it. But when he does it, I don't listen because he's my father, but because he stands infront of me and the tone of his voice just makes it seem as if it's true.

He's right. I need to save up more than I have now.
1: So I can buy my car and not have him bitching about it.
2: So I can move out and not have to hear this anymore.
3: So I can have a better relationship with both my mom and dad.

I've been thinking.........

2007-09-26T04:04:21Z

So what if I'd rather build something than go shopping. I like getting new clothes, I just don't care to spend tons of money on very little and not always get to wear it. I like building something and knowing I did that.
So what if I'd rather go to a "dive" bar rather than a gay club. I don't mind either, I'm just use to going to bars around where I live, which just happen to be "dive" bars.
So what if I don't act like a "typical" gay guy, doesn't mean I'm ashamed of who I am or that I'm trying to act more like a straight person, I just do.
So what if I smoke, it's something I do. I don't like to, but it's a habbit and a hard one to stop. I don't depend on it, so it's not like I need to smoke every minute.
So what if I'd rather do nothing with friends or new people, I get to talk and learn more about them. Then we get to do things we like doing. I like being introduced to new and other things.
So what If I'm scruffy. You have no idea how much it sucks to have to shave your face twice a week(it hurts when you have a thick beard) and how much blades cost.

Lately when I look around and think about it, the more I'm my self, the more it seems I'm out of place. Yes, I'd like to be more of what others like and maybe ever want. But I know it wont happen. I do have confindence, but not enough to make good moves. I know it's a long shot to ask someone out in the first place, but I know it's much more of a chance because of the area/ enviroment I'm in and around. And the few that I do have an intrest in and try to talk to make little effort to talk back to me. Thus making me feel like crap. Then the very little times Someone has shown intrest in me and made me feel like I'm worth being with, turn on me, lie to me and use me. Always makes me wonder what I'm doing wrong.

Why is it so hard for someone to be honest with another person about how they feel. Why wont someone make the effort towards me and show me they are intrested in me? Why wont someone take the time and effort to get to know me? Is who I am not good enough for people?

astronautboy @ 2007-08-09T02:25:00

2007-08-09T06:31:24Z

I'm so pissed off and hurt I can't even write what I want to in this. So many things about one thing/ person are bothering.

Wow I feel stupid.

astronautboy @ 2007-07-25T01:28:00

2007-07-25T05:48:20Z

I went down to Ohio with Michelle after work on friday. It took about 5 hours to get to canton. It was worth it. We just talked about anything and realized we didn't have the music on and we were about an hour/ hour and a half away from our point of destination. The reason we went was for her cousin Adam's wedding. But for her to see that side of her family too. The entire trip was extreamly nice. We stayed with her cousin Shana who kicks ass.

Michelle and I were more so happy to get away from the little things that were building up to make us mad. Really what better way to mellow out about stupid things than a road trip with a really great friend?

And other things....................

I'm enjoying the walks at night with someone now. I'm really happy that Rebecca has been serious about it. Makes me feel like it's really worth it for some reason, instead of just getting out of my house at night when I'm bored. I have someone to talk to and listen to.

The dumb ass fucking shit head of a "boss" we had at work turned in his 2 week notice last week. Everyone on the tech staff was happy to hear about it. Our BIG boss who also doesn't understand working behind the scenes of things wasn't happy and tried to get him to stay. He said that he feels that the techinical director which was the boss above him treated him unfairly and made him look bad. And with all honesty he was never ment to work back stage at a road house. He's better off touring with shows being a production mannager and really not doing physical work.

I guess that's it.

astronautboy @ 2007-05-24T12:58:00

2007-05-24T17:10:56Z

Hmmm.....

Well last night was great. Dave and busters and then the hall of fame pool hall.
It's real nice to sleep in. Though I feel I've wasted most of my day, I think it's also worth it.
Amber should be home now. I'm excited about that.
Trish will be home very soon too. I can not wait.
The main boss is starting to be real cool, so work isn't as bad anymore.
I have hours at work happening like crazy.
My dad is a douchbag.
I miss working with Michelle.
I think I need to put more effort into dating.
Cuz not putting really any effort in isn't helping me.
Suzannes birthday is today.
I love her.
Maybe the new pirate movie on saturday.
I know for sure beer pong on saturday. (more are welcome to join)
The day's are getting wonderful.
The nights are awesome to go out and walk and or do what ever with whom ever.
I will stop smoking. I know this for sure, cuz I'm qetting sick of it.
I don't drink much when I go out to bars, but when I do I have no money and I'm still not drunk, so I'll be easing off that.
It sucks that shelby road house is only open thursday-saturday nights now for the bar. I miss my friends singing.
I want to see my nephew badly.
I want to relax with friends at my cottage.
I want to go swimming again.
I want to take the top off my jeep.
I wanna talk to more people that I some what know, and get to know them better.

Yup.............

astronautboy @ 2007-05-20T17:43:00

2007-05-20T21:53:33Z

14.5 hours on friday
16 hours on saturday
and I'm gonna guess about 15 hours sunday (today)

I'm extreamly bored. And extreamly tired. *Hall of Fame dance challenge* is going on. It's the last day. The crew have been real cool. And I honestly have done nothing all 3 days. It's nice hours, but atleast have something for us to do.

On a good note, last two weeks I worked about 73 hours. That's gonna be a good check which is needed. I would really like a vacation. I'd like to leave the state, but I think the cottage would work just fine. Any takers that would like to join me?

That's about it.

How have you people been?

astronautboy @ 2007-04-29T23:13:00

2007-04-30T03:14:58Z

Anyone?

Hmmmm

2007-04-21T07:20:12Z

Oh well

astronautboy @ 2007-04-11T05:14:00

2007-04-11T09:16:07Z

Why is it so hard to find someone to date?

Really why?

astronautboy @ 2007-04-03T12:15:00

2007-04-03T16:19:53Z

Well I didn't have the greatest 21st birthday ever, but it was still alright. I mean come on, who get's paid to puke at work? I do.
Worked over 44 hours from friday to sunday.
Found out that no matter how little you drink, on an empty stomach, it will come back and kick your ass.
I love all the message and phone calls from people wishing me a happy and good birthday.
I'm soooooo excited for friday and saturday. Lockerroom on friday night and Backstreet on saturday night.

astronautboy @ 2007-03-28T00:18:00

2007-03-28T04:19:36Z

I would really like to date again. Be in a relationship again.

astronautboy @ 2007-03-22T02:10:00

2007-03-22T06:11:47Z

Great day I had.

I got my notice today about my court date for breaking the crossfire. May 1st. Wish me luck.

astronautboy @ 2007-03-04T01:39:00

2007-03-04T06:40:56Z

Well this was a shit day off.
Oh well, fuck it.

astronautboy @ 2007-03-02T22:54:00

2007-03-03T03:58:58Z

I've Never been so excited for a day off.

I will be sleeping in. And if people would like to do something later in the day call me/ leave a message. I'd like to see friends and people.

Ok.

astronautboy @ 2007-02-24T11:58:00

2007-02-24T17:03:34Z

Ahhhh

Last night was great. Dave and Busters makes STRONG drinks.

When I went back to work I wasn't so upset/ angry anymore. I just let it go. Nothing I could do about what happened at work. But my boss still seems to be pissed at me for being pissed at her. I wonder how long she'll hold on to this?

astronautboy @ 2007-02-23T14:40:00

2007-02-23T19:44:23Z

And some days my boss is such a stupid bitch I can't stand her.

Thanks for making my friday and saturday at work shit.

I'm drinking my anger away tonight.

Best part is I'm not paying for my drinks. : D

astronautboy @ 2007-02-05T22:28:00

2007-02-06T03:29:08Z

CORRECTION........

................. I JUST REPIERCED MY LIP.

astronautboy @ 2007-02-05T18:39:00

2007-02-05T23:44:37Z

The best way to start your day...... before noon reck your car. Yup that's what I did.

I have to make a date for the court. Hope it gets droped.

I'm bothered by this. Really I am. But cuz it happened there isn't anything I can do.

Cuz I had to and cuz I didn't want to put up a fight with the parent, they told me to take out my lip ring so I did.

I tried to put it back in. But in the hour and a half time they talked to me, it closed.

I'm so sad about that too.

I love when I start to do better at thing, and huge shit comes and fucks things up.

I can't complain. After all, it is my fault.

I'm gonna miss my friends.

I hate that I can't hang out with anyone.

astronautboy @ 2007-02-03T02:19:00

2007-02-03T07:25:24Z

Hmmmm..... I don't want to work today. It's gonna be a long boring show. Why? Cuz it's a dance show. And it sucks. We have 2 shows today to do. Not looking forward to either of them, then one show sunday. Ehhh. I think I'm not liking it cuz I'm on spot for the show. Oh well. I'm looking forward to after the show. Michelle and I are goin to see the messengers. We're taking her daughter. We know it's gonna be a mistake but it's still gonna be fun. Which bring to to ask and offer, would anyone care to join us in seeing this movie? If so, call me if you have my number. We aren't sure on which time we are going, but here they are 8:20, 9:40, 10:40. If you can make any of these times great. If not ..... you suck. So give me a call or leave a comment on here and I'll respond or call you. Michelle and I get out of work at 9ish tonight.

Ok.....

Untill then.